The Secret Life Of A Stalker

My name is Princess and I am a stalker. I stalk for fun and because instagram has a rainbow perfect picture of living. That is another world. I definitely had lots of experiences to encounters. This is one of them.
I was on instagram, looking for something eye catching to feed my eyes when I saw a funny food caption which "le crush" commented on. I clicked on his profile and saw 50 shades of cuteness in one person. How is that possible?
Let me introduce Le crush to you. He is dark skin, tall and intelligent. How did I know? Errm, I was in love. Beard gang, the well built body structure like Beckham. Mesmerizing eyes which was conspicuous with one of his selfies I admire the most. His slender fingers when he held a bottle of coke with the caption #Cheers.
As a stalker, I did not get into the game to fall in love. I got into it to admire. I was/am extra-careful not to fave anyone's pictures when stalking them. Le crush profile got that careful part of me. "Yunno" how that thing can misbehave. No one ever wants to get caught. #busted.
I know his place of work and his colleagues. Well, I even know his two brothers. They are four in number. He is the second born and the most handsome*straight face*. He has a sister too and she is the last born. He loves her soo much because she is always his #wcw. She loves kitkat a lot which gave me an idea to buy a lot when Le crush plans to introduce me to his family. Her favorite cartoon is SpongeBob.
I started to picture us together. Staying late night with his thoughts. Because I had an idea of his favourite coffee brand, I purchased and imagined us sharing same moment. I know! I was crazy. I starting planning on how to approach him. What to say to him, how to talk to him, what to wear, different scenes with different ideas. I goggles ideas and tips. "Oshey project".
I know he prefers fish to beef. He is a die hard fan of Manchester United. He adores coffee and Pepsi. He loves chocolate cake and can bake imperfectly. I even learnt chocolate cake and I know his coffee has to be super creamy.
I did more research than the FBI. I discovered his twitter handle, to my surprise, he spends a lot of time there. Cool. I know where he is right now. All thanks to numerous applications. I check on any girl's tweet he retweets, quotes and fave. Yes, I am jealous. Even when my guardian angel tries to tell me I am wasting my time, effort and most of all my emotion, I console myself with lies. I imagined hope and forced it down my throat.
I knew I was in a huge competition because the number of girls liking his pictures on instagram is on another level. Don't let me start with his twitter followers. He has more followers than Don'Jazzy.
I dreamt of him once. We were sitting at a cafe and gisting. I was smiling sheepishly. I woke up that day with shiny sparkles all over my body. I translated the dream as "he proposed". If you needed a million naira that day, I would give you with no terms/conditions.
I finally pictured myself having the courage to visit him at his place of work. I scrapped that idea of surprising him on his birthday and planned to pretend to be lost, ask for direction and stylishly ask for his phone number. I don't know how but I even had to buy a sexy gown and nice perfume on credit.
It was all fun until one chilly evening, after metting with an editor for an urgent freelancing work. It was a hectic day of errands at my place of work. On my way home, I sighted what I thought was Le crush's car.
This is someone I know has two cars. He bought the last one some months ago. You have to imagine the reckless driving I did that day just to be sure. I was having an uncontrollable rush of adrenaline because I noticed it wasn't only him in the car. The nuts to my feelings were all loose. Poor me.
It wasn't him.
Rushing home. I finally settled down to check on him.
I sat on my bed and mocked myself. I laughed at my stupidity. I deleted the pictures of him I saved on my phone. I wanted to just get rid of anything that reminded me of him. I even deleted the Mai Atafo bridal gown I saved.
Final shot is that he released his pre-wedding pictures that day. I had a good look at the bride. I would have looked better by his side. 
I stopped stalking him again but I check on him once in a while ;).
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